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cruise (January 10th, 2003, 1:52 pm)

Is here. Any comments before I link it from the front page? The last paragraph is a little weak, I think, but otherwise, it's pretty cool.

Semirrahge Edit: Fixed misspelled "front". It was bugging me. If only I could do this for the thread priority "newset". :)

A couple things

Ben (January 11th, 2003, 3:46 am)

It actually looks a bit hard to read -- not because the text is worded badly, but because the line spacing in the list is too small (it might be nice, as well, to give each LI a top and bottom margin). Also,

there's a [insert cool living-thing metaphor here] of activity

will have to be fixed. :)

Oh cripes...

Narainsbrain (January 11th, 2003, 6:05 am)

I wasn't finished with that!

The 'read on' bit was mean to carry on to a whole section more about what goes on beneath the skin... then I went off on vacation and forgot all about it. A few days more and I'll have that written for you.

(Why DAYS? I'm very slow. If anyone else wants to write it faster, go right ahead. =) )

I figured :P

cruise (January 11th, 2003, 12:02 pm)

That's why it's not linked from anywhere yet :P

I just thought I'd put it into a page while I was in a "fix stuff" mood...feel free to change the wording on the rough draft version, and I'll update it :P

Ben: I figured that bit the [ ] was intentional...I thougt it quite funny, anyway...

2c

Semirrahge (January 11th, 2003, 5:30 pm)

I think:

Either Cruise or Eldritch are your points of contact for membership of Transference. Send them examples of your work, or post your stories in our writing class forum, and if we like what we read, then you will be added to our growing roster of members.

Replace "Either" with "both", or rephrase the whole sentence. Change "of" to "in" or "with".

Shorten the second sentence (this coming from the king of run-ons!) to "...writing class forum."

Remove the "and", the "then" after the comma, and contract "you will" into "you'll".

Now you have:

Both Cruise and Eldritch are your points of contact for membership in Transference. Send them examples of your work, or post your stories in our writing class forum. If we like what we read, you'll be added to our growing roster of members.

I also think that "points of contact" is not as good as "contact points" or merely "contacts".

Okay

Narainsbrain (January 12th, 2003, 5:35 am)

Actually, the [ ] WASN'T intentional... I couldn't come up with any good metaphor, and since Semi keeps telling me my metaphor/simile usage is "odd" (no, no hard feelings =) ), I thought I'd leave it to the experts. But if it's found to be funny, that's great too. :D

I'll keep Semi's edit in mind when I end the second section (Jeez, I haven't even started). But since anyone who registers would expect to be called a "member", I think the other thing sould be called "writership" or some such. Ditto for the navbar: "fiction / non-fiction / discussion / writers".

Changed

cruise (January 13th, 2003, 2:37 pm)

All updated I think, except I left "you will"...contractions in formal text are to be avoided, if possible :P (Yeah, I know there's one in the title, but that's intended to be informal for humourous effect...)

Narainsbrain (January 14th, 2003, 5:12 am)

Also change the title of the page to "writers @ transference.org".

Also changed

cruise (January 14th, 2003, 9:37 pm)

:P

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