(May 21st, 2003, 7:03 am)
Done on a three word prompt from some random person, here it is.
The smell of cooking meat filled the air of a
chinese american restaraunt in the middle of
downtown New York. The flavored wafts filled and
satisfied the noses of many, while the stomachs
were left to complain for a bit longer. The owner
of the restaraunt hurried about, stirring this
and simmering just a bit of that, before rushing
over to the other side of the narrow kitchen to
grab an armful of spices.
"Hey C!", some impatient customer shouted from
his table, "Is that food nearly ready or what!?"
Exhasperated he assured the man that his food
would be out just as soon as it was done cooking.
Running the restraunt was a fult tilt operation,
and nothing less than a light sprint set the pace
for a majority of the day. Finally, as the last
customer for the day left and he washed of the
last table, the owner was able to loose all
control of his muscles and slump to heap of
exhausted flesh on the floor.
In the dark, along a fence pointing rusted
fingers into the fog, sat a small black cat.
Large eyes and a scared look stood transfixed on
a head much to big for it's body, and the cat
visibly shook in fear. His name was Milo, and
being rather wimpy and extremely small, all the
other ally cats like to push him off the fence
and laugh as he smacked against the pavement.
Years of hitting his head on the cement gave him
a slight twitch, his chin thrusting a few inches
left spasmodically. Whipsers floated down on dank
waves of sooty air. They taunted him and flicked
his nose as shadows could be seen arching out of
the corners. The bully cats had come to play, and
they hopped up on the fence one by one, stalking
towards Milo. And as the closest cat neared in,
his orange paw ready to swipe and smack Milo
clear off the fence, a muffled shot pfft'd in the
distance. A silver smear licked through the sky,
and through the orange cats head as well.
Flipping over the orange cat landed slumped over
in a pile of garbage. A series of similar noises
could be heard, and a series of cats could be
seen having bullets pass through their brains as
a metallic taste filled the air. Milo sat, frozen
still, even his twitch gone for the moment. He
sat thinking, eyes wide and reflecting the red
mist haning heavy in the air...
"Someone has come to save me! Someone has finally
punished those evil cats and set me free. Free to
live without fear and to get plenty of good
scraps to eat!"
And with that a final bullet smacked square
through Milo's left eye, and he spun about like a
ballarena before coming to rest on top of all the
The next day at the restaraunt, a regular
customer decided to sit in a new seat, just to
get a change of scenery. After ordering a
different meal than usual, he sat glancing about,
getting a feel for his new posistion. Peering
around, he noticed he had a clear view to the
kitchen, and could peer through the small port
style piece of plexiglass that acted as a window
in the swinging plastic door. He looked at all
the fancy knives, the racks of spice, and pot and
pans and burners, the ak-47 hanging by a leather
strap against the back wall. This last discovery
made for a series of double and triple takes,
intermittened by a gasp or two. He must just
collect and fire guns at a range, he thought to
himself. Surely that as all.
Fretting to himself even so, he sat in his seat
making up gruesome tales of a chinese american
restaraunt owner serial killer. He invisioned him
stalking about, picking of other restraunt owners
to help bring his business to the top. The
customer was smacked from his daydreams as the
owner came by to serve him his food. As he
thanked him, he decided he should know his name,
just in case he should ever need to be able to
turn the man in. It was a purely fansical idea,
but he asked all the same.
"If you don't mind me asking, what is "C" short
The owner replied, "It's short for my
"You're name is...Curiosity?" the customer
questioned. And then something dawned on him. He
glanced at the owner, then at the ak-47 hanging
on the wall, then at his steaming plate of food.
He followed all this glancing about by puking in
the owners face as he ran heaving from the
The man was found later across town, in a bar, using the age old remedy of slamming numerous shots of tequila to help forget years of consuming cat.
(May 21st, 2003, 9:37 am)
That was quite good. As I came across the part where the cats are getting shot, I knew exactly where this was going, but when you threw the owner's name out there it surprised me enough to make up for the predictablity. Well written, nice bit of humor, the only thing I don't like is the form; call me old fashioned but I like paragraphs.
(May 21st, 2003, 12:05 pm)
Yes.... Oh, man. You are terrible. :)
But it's nice to have this sort of thing waiting for you after a long, hard graveyard shift at work. The bit with Milo in it is oh-so-classic.
Thankfully I don't normally try to anticipate what the author is trying to do, so unlike Krome I didn't see it coming, but to me the humor was in the elements and not the story itself.
I noticed some spelling errors, but being tired I failed to find them on a quick re-read. Oh well, Cruise'll pick 'em up. :P
(May 21st, 2003, 3:33 pm)
It has paragraphs, they just didnt come out well when I copy and pasted.
(May 21st, 2003, 6:39 pm)
I was having too much fun to spot any spelling errors :P
Though any kind of harm to cats I dislike, it's funny enough for me to not mind...and yes, the bit with the restraunt owner's name is a very nice touch.
(May 22nd, 2003, 2:05 am)
All the kitties went to kitty heaven and have endless supplies of kitty nip.
(May 24th, 2003, 6:14 am)
That was fun... I love your stuff!
The way you characterize the cats is very cool, especially since you just kill them off unexpectedly... You like doing that, don't you? Killing your animal characters heartlessly? :p
I just can't get enough of your bizarre, twisted, funny works. Gimme more!
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