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Discussion > Feedback > Head, Ak-47, Tequila

Head, Ak-47, Tequila

BlacklightResponsive (May 21st, 2003, 7:03 am)

Done on a three word prompt from some random person, here it is.

The smell of cooking meat filled the air of a

chinese american restaraunt in the middle of

downtown New York. The flavored wafts filled and

satisfied the noses of many, while the stomachs

were left to complain for a bit longer. The owner

of the restaraunt hurried about, stirring this

and simmering just a bit of that, before rushing

over to the other side of the narrow kitchen to

grab an armful of spices.

"Hey C!", some impatient customer shouted from

his table, "Is that food nearly ready or what!?"

Exhasperated he assured the man that his food

would be out just as soon as it was done cooking.

Running the restraunt was a fult tilt operation,

and nothing less than a light sprint set the pace

for a majority of the day. Finally, as the last

customer for the day left and he washed of the

last table, the owner was able to loose all

control of his muscles and slump to heap of

exhausted flesh on the floor.

In the dark, along a fence pointing rusted

fingers into the fog, sat a small black cat.

Large eyes and a scared look stood transfixed on

a head much to big for it's body, and the cat

visibly shook in fear. His name was Milo, and

being rather wimpy and extremely small, all the

other ally cats like to push him off the fence

and laugh as he smacked against the pavement.

Years of hitting his head on the cement gave him

a slight twitch, his chin thrusting a few inches

left spasmodically. Whipsers floated down on dank

waves of sooty air. They taunted him and flicked

his nose as shadows could be seen arching out of

the corners. The bully cats had come to play, and

they hopped up on the fence one by one, stalking

towards Milo. And as the closest cat neared in,

his orange paw ready to swipe and smack Milo

clear off the fence, a muffled shot pfft'd in the

distance. A silver smear licked through the sky,

and through the orange cats head as well.

Flipping over the orange cat landed slumped over

in a pile of garbage. A series of similar noises

could be heard, and a series of cats could be

seen having bullets pass through their brains as

a metallic taste filled the air. Milo sat, frozen

still, even his twitch gone for the moment. He

sat thinking, eyes wide and reflecting the red

mist haning heavy in the air...

"Someone has come to save me! Someone has finally

punished those evil cats and set me free. Free to

live without fear and to get plenty of good

scraps to eat!"

And with that a final bullet smacked square

through Milo's left eye, and he spun about like a

ballarena before coming to rest on top of all the

other cats.

The next day at the restaraunt, a regular

customer decided to sit in a new seat, just to

get a change of scenery. After ordering a

different meal than usual, he sat glancing about,

getting a feel for his new posistion. Peering

around, he noticed he had a clear view to the

kitchen, and could peer through the small port

style piece of plexiglass that acted as a window

in the swinging plastic door. He looked at all

the fancy knives, the racks of spice, and pot and

pans and burners, the ak-47 hanging by a leather

strap against the back wall. This last discovery

made for a series of double and triple takes,

intermittened by a gasp or two. He must just

collect and fire guns at a range, he thought to

himself. Surely that as all.

Fretting to himself even so, he sat in his seat

making up gruesome tales of a chinese american

restaraunt owner serial killer. He invisioned him

stalking about, picking of other restraunt owners

to help bring his business to the top. The

customer was smacked from his daydreams as the

owner came by to serve him his food. As he

thanked him, he decided he should know his name,

just in case he should ever need to be able to

turn the man in. It was a purely fansical idea,

but he asked all the same.

"If you don't mind me asking, what is "C" short

for anyway?"

The owner replied, "It's short for my


"You're name is...Curiosity?" the customer

questioned. And then something dawned on him. He

glanced at the owner, then at the ak-47 hanging

on the wall, then at his steaming plate of food.

He followed all this glancing about by puking in

the owners face as he ran heaving from the


The man was found later across town, in a bar, using the age old remedy of slamming numerous shots of tequila to help forget years of consuming cat.

Head, Ak-47, Tequila

kromekoran (May 21st, 2003, 9:37 am)


That was quite good. As I came across the part where the cats are getting shot, I knew exactly where this was going, but when you threw the owner's name out there it surprised me enough to make up for the predictablity. Well written, nice bit of humor, the only thing I don't like is the form; call me old fashioned but I like paragraphs.


Semirrahge (May 21st, 2003, 12:05 pm)

Yes.... Oh, man. You are terrible. :)

But it's nice to have this sort of thing waiting for you after a long, hard graveyard shift at work. The bit with Milo in it is oh-so-classic.

Thankfully I don't normally try to anticipate what the author is trying to do, so unlike Krome I didn't see it coming, but to me the humor was in the elements and not the story itself.

I noticed some spelling errors, but being tired I failed to find them on a quick re-read. Oh well, Cruise'll pick 'em up. :P


BlacklightResponsive (May 21st, 2003, 3:33 pm)

It has paragraphs, they just didnt come out well when I copy and pasted.


cruise (May 21st, 2003, 6:39 pm)

I was having too much fun to spot any spelling errors :P

Though any kind of harm to cats I dislike, it's funny enough for me to not mind...and yes, the bit with the restraunt owner's name is a very nice touch.

It's okay

BlacklightResponsive (May 22nd, 2003, 2:05 am)

All the kitties went to kitty heaven and have endless supplies of kitty nip.

Man, you're evil ;)

Narainsbrain (May 24th, 2003, 6:14 am)

That was fun... I love your stuff!

The way you characterize the cats is very cool, especially since you just kill them off unexpectedly... You like doing that, don't you? Killing your animal characters heartlessly? :p

I just can't get enough of your bizarre, twisted, funny works. Gimme more!

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