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Discussion > Feedback > Scintillate, Brobdingnagian, and Salvo

Scintillate, Brobdingnagian, and Salvo

Semirrahge (June 10th, 2003, 11:22 pm)

Three words - but treat them well. Scintillate and Brobdingnagian are two of my favorite words.

And yeah, I figured I'd give you a challenge. =P

Scintillate, Brobdingnagian, and Salvo

BlacklightResponsive (June 12th, 2003, 7:00 pm)

An olive sky sat behind the black branches of trees. Haunched in the shadows was a large round creature, with small useless wings on his back. An off mauve sort of color, the creature's tube like neck swung around to point his head towards east. Sniffing, he peered around cautiously. Something seemed...off. Suddenly, walking from the west, the shadow lord approached. His body was slightly larger than an average man's, and muscular, but his head was a whole nother story. Like the heads at Easter Island, his had a forhead that stretched up into an infinity. He seemed to wear a crown of darkness that stretched like a beam into the sky. And at the edges of his black skin and black shadow, white glints of pure energy scintillated along trails of lightning. His name had been being whispered among the forrests of late.

Brobdingnagian.

A childhood tail brought to life. He was said to be crossing the land, consuming knowledge till he gained the ultimate power. Till he was one with the universe, and could control all it's equations, as a God. By the time this was realized, it was already too late. He had grown too powerful, and now came and went as he pleased. However a resistance did dwell in a city said to have magic walls that stretched up into infinity, and the ability to advert one from seeing or walking towards it.

Brobdingnagian.

The rotund dragon-like creature whimpered. Part of the resistance, he had been sent out to carry information about their most secret of weapons to a general over across the Burgand Mountains and tucked away on a small delta of land in the Sea of Dreams. The Sea of Dreams, said to harbor the worlds dreams in it's murky depths. As the Shadow King neared, a salvo of shrill wails roared in a cascading symphony of wretched filth. His thin lips parted, and uttered for the information to be handed over imediatly.

Huge trees sat with clusters of interlocking orange slice shaped walls; painted in large grey, white, and red patches. The vertical black lines seperating the colrs ran most of the way down the walls dead straight, then jutting 45 degrees out at either the left of right for a short distance, before dropping stright back down again. The effect gave the apperance of tree trunks, getting slightly larger at their bases. Within an extremely complex shape in the tallest branches, sat the head of the resistance. Myla, a woman born of the ability to walk dreams. She could step into worlds and live peoples dreams. But she hoped that, as legend holds, one will gain the power to control the powers at the depths of the Sea of Dreams. A call came in and she was informed the Shadow King was outside the walls of the hidden city. He must have intercepted the information, even after all the precautions of choosing a man with little mind to speak of. The Shadow King sought people of intelligence best, the dumb were a monotous sea to him, indisinguishable and hard to differentiate between. She knew the time had come, and after setting her shoulder straight, teleported to the Castle at the Sea of Shadows. Blinking into the center of a small room, dug out in ages long forgotten by those who were said to use the Power for good.

An age of gods stripped by evil when one of it's holders had gone crazy and almost destroyed the world. The Power was then locked away forever, and would not open unless it could mean the end of the world.

Brobdingnagian

Myla faced the entrance and watched as Tracks entered the room. Or at least, the was his name as her best friend growing up. They had both been highly intelligent, but Tracks had an unusual ability to gain information from people, and never forget it. Everything he had ever sensed was always at his forefront, where it is easily accessed. And he could comprehend everything he was learning, which soon lead towards his inevitable end; The Shadow King.

Brobdingnagian.

Myla spoke to him, telling him that if he attempts to gain the Power, she will end his world. She will grasp his dreams in her fist and crush them with the Sea of Dreams link to the Power. She knew it impossible when she spoke it, but felt compeled to anyway. He sighed, and whispered back to her what she already knew she would hear.

He told her he knew she thought his bloody pursuit of the Power had corrupted his soul, just as the man in the past age of legends. But that the conspiracy theorists are right, it was just a lie. He told her of how the government holds the world in it's shackles, and binds them in unfounded hatreds. He said one last time that he wasn't the man of legends, but he had to gain the Power. It was the only way to really save the world.

The man of legends had started a war, claiming use of the Power in what he said would be a wonderful way. He offered the world everything, but in the moments when he gained power, he sought to control the world as a God. Early indication of his insanity had saved them, as they closed of his link to the Power moments before he gained control. However, some say the insanity was faked, and the real corruption lay in the government, who had him killed for their own agenda.

She knew it was going to come down to this. Deciding whether or not she should kill him was like flipping a coin. And in a moment of tragic comedy, pulled a coin from her pocket and flipped it into the air. But since she loved him so she gave him the benifit of the doubt by using a weighted coin in his favor. Reiable enough, but not foolproof.

Wow.

Semirrahge (June 12th, 2003, 9:40 pm)

I'm impressed! Spelling errors up the wazzoo, but... :)

Haunched - should be hunched

forrests - forests

childhood _tail_ - should be tale

advert - not quite sure, maybe divert or avert

colrs - colors

monotous - monotonous

indisinguishable - indistinguishable

benifit - benefit

reiable - reliable

A few nit-picky things: "His name had been being..." I think this is called a passive voice. It's weak, boring. It lacks energy. Don't say "Been being"; just use "had been" or rephrase the sentence totally.

And it's not a big deal, but "scintillated" just sounds wrong somehow... If you could rephrase so that it was "scintillating", I think it might sound better. *shrug* :)

Other than that - I'm VERY impressed that you could write something like this just off the cuff. Nice.

*nod*

cruise (June 17th, 2003, 8:57 am)

Agreed, that was very cool...and actually, much the better for being serious :P

I feel like trying my hand at something like this...anybody care to give me some words?

*nod*

BlacklightResponsive (June 18th, 2003, 1:26 am)

Husk, taxadermy, boll weevil.

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