(June 20th, 2003, 8:54 pm)
Um...3 word challenge. Tuareg is also spelled Touareg. If you don't know, look it up ;P. This is a nice one. The last two are realated. I just liked the first one.
(June 21st, 2003, 7:44 pm)
*ponders for a moment, wonders why he is wasting time suchly, begins to type without direction; as usual*
Africa was sitting rather listlessly in the ocean, as usual, sort of bobbing up and down and ever so slowly sliding along the molten magma under its techtonic plates. But Africa, being a non-sentient being, didn't really mind to much when all of the sudden a giant tractor beam caught hold of it by the Madagascar, and yanked it near all the way to Antarctica. Like a boat pulling someone on water skis, Africa flew threw the water, and in a moment of pure inspiration did a McTwist over the enourmous wake being generated. A wake that would have people's shoes in Japan making slushing sounds for weeks. Those in Europe and South American prayed for Darwin's process to pick up the pace a little, but the fish just laughed and blew bubbles in their faces. The local inhabitants, especially those near and around Egypt, errupted in a concophony of thousands of Hamitic dialects. Shouting and praying and in a few cases, moaning, having being caught mid-orgasm in the shift, made up the deafening havoc sweeping the dusty plains.
Meanwhile, out in outer space, but quite close to middle space, sat an alien space craft. And inside this alien space craft, sat a couple of aliens. These aliens were speaking in some sort of alien dialect to each other, but for the ease of reading it will all be translated to English.
- Zort! I think I just made a little oopsie doopsie on that wet little planet over their.
- Zorts right! Sometimes Titleist, I think you swapped your second brain for a sofa cushion.
- Shut up Sorbate!, at least I don't have a flatulating third ovary sticking out of my kneecap. And anyway, it was jsut a Sesquipedalian of a mistake. I mean, if you squint your eyes just so, you can't even tell that land mass is missing.
- Whatever, just get that tractor beam fixed on the correct satallite this time. You know, the big grey thing circling that planet you just fornicated. And you better get it into posistion quickly, my twinkies have gone bad it's taken you so long.
The space craft then shuddered a little, and then a little bit more, and then sat still for a good couple mintues before giving one last little jolt. It then turned half a degree towards the moon, flickered faintly, and turned a mustard yellow color. It presumably then did something else, but having lost interest, our narator's focus turned back to Africa.
Many civilizations were caught in dispair. What was this foul creature, that fell from the sky and burned their skin blue. And more importantly, how could they kill it. Befuddled, they sat down to think about it, and most were frozen solid within a couple hours. However, one group of a fairly nomadic tribe of peoples, knows as the Tuareg, responded to the situation much more intelligently. Having had a fairly successful hunting season up till now, they have an abundance of extra furs, and were realived to be able to wear clothes that better covered their private parts, and were suited to the weather as well.
Even though this was their old world, it was also a new world, and it was decided the group should explore. They traveled south for many moon cycles. Children were born and raised, and many of the eldest didn't live to see the coast. But those who did stood flaberghasted. Across a flowing mass of partially frozen water, was Antarctica. You could spit across the channle, that is to say, it would have been possible were the climate warmer. In such cold the lugee barely made it half way before freezing and dropping with a plunk into the midnight blue and white striated depths. And across the way, on the Antarctic bank, stood a group of penquins, smiling and waving greetings.
What was presumed to be the leader penquin spoke up, slapping his flippers against his sides in some sort of supposed penquin body language.
- My friends, we have waited many an ice age for this day, and finally, it has come. Today we shall unite, and begin construction of the biggest ice slide palace to date. The olympic luge teams will be like pansy little men sliding down playground slides in women's lengerie compared to what we shall create! It will reach up to the heavens, gleaming in translucent shades of cloudly blue and yellowed murky semen! We can slide down on our bellies, reaching fantabulous speeds before shooting off ramps into the brisk waters!
The Tuareg people smiled, then cheered, then rushed to get out some drugs and took them immediatly. They then all jumped in the water to swim across to greet their new found friends, and immediatly froze into little Hamitic ice cubes, and sank towards the bottom where they were caught in underwater nets. The penquin leader, on the far bank, shook his head in disgust. It was sort of hard not to laugh at his disgust, as a penquin shaking it's head looks rather silly.
- Dumb humans, I can't believe they really fell for it. I thought for sure you were kidding Dimitri, when you said they'd actually fall into this trap.
- My name's Dimitri, I don't tell jokes.
And with that being said, the penquins contructed a land bridge over to Africa, out of frozen Tuareg blocks captured as they sank. Their long awaited plans for world domination were finally taking form, and they could feel victory on their shoulders even this early in the game.
(June 22nd, 2003, 12:44 am)
You certainly did your homework...
(June 22nd, 2003, 1:05 am)
I had to look all three of those words up.
(June 22nd, 2003, 10:47 pm)
Isnt everybody else supposed to be writing one too?
(June 23rd, 2003, 11:24 am)
One of the same words, or do we get our own words? :P
Anyway, hilarious story, I loved it. Amazing the flexibility that imagination is capable of :D
(June 24th, 2003, 1:22 am)
Using the same words. You know, to see how differently the same three words can have inspired people.
(June 24th, 2003, 3:28 pm)
ANyone else is free to do another one.
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