read / discuss / question

Links / Related: Bibliophil / Cool: The Written Pixel

Login:    Password:      Don't have a username? Register!

Discussion > Feedback > Tin Can Men

Tin Can Men

BlacklightResponsive (November 28th, 2003, 7:22 am)

"What are we?", one little robot said to another.

"You know as well as I, that we do not know what we are", replied another of the annonomous looking robots.

Standing in a group of six, they looked like nothing more than half a gelcap painted silver and enlarged to the size of pop cans. A black visor however, provided their simple brains with a full spectrum of color, near human range.

"I know we all know, but if nobody asks than nobody will know what's going on", replied the first robot.

Another spoke up, "We all know you knew he knew that you needed to ask that, but that argument had to insue so as to slightly amuse the crowd at it's wit. And even further so because most of the rest of this story may indeed continue in a similar format. Christ". Then that particular robot appeared to shake his optic receptor in disgust.

"So, shall we start our search for that object?"

"What object is that?"

"You know, the object that we will know when we find it."

"Oh, right, but after we find it, then what's it going to do?"

"We don't know."

"Oh yeah, I knew that also"

"Yeah, I know you knew but were pretending not to know."


And so the robots scuttled off into the distance, looking at specs of dirt, bits of grass, some bugs, other stuff which they couldn't remember. And nothing of that particular something they would know when they saw it had been seen. However the story of their plight did spread, and people welcomed the robot visitors into their towns to look at all their stuff. The towns secretly hoped that the robots would find what they were looking for in their city, but alas, it had not been seen yet. Eventually the robots grew tired of scuttling, and so they had some peasents set them up a shrine where people could come and bring them stuff, so long as they had a harem of glass bottles to flick their bodies and make them "ping". Their wishes were happily made so and thus kingdoms began presenting gifts. One day, a particularly wealthy king presented gold. The robots eyes in unison "cha-chinged" and they knew they had found what they were looking for. And they also knew what they were there for. Transforming like decpticons the former dull bullet shaped tins had morphed into giant killing machines. Lazers shot in all directions and the entrails of one man smacked another in the face forcing him to the ground without mercy. A particularly nicely shot lazer poked a hole through a womans eye and she squirted blood like a fountain whilst stumbling about, hands stretched before her. Their delight for complete and utter destruction of the human race had no limits, and they circled the globe ripping people into confetti. After all the blood had been washed into the sea, the robots gathered all the worlds gold and piled it in a huge pile, then sat atop it.

"What should we do now?", one robot said to the other.

"You know as well as I, that after we kill all the humans and gather all their gold, that we should swim through their gold in glee", spoke the other five robots.

And so the robots took a bath in their new found wealth, perfoming a mock syncronized swimming routine, and then bursting from the top to perform a song and dance to the crowd of corpses. After the lack of a standing ovation, the robots plopped back down, and got bored.

"Now what? I mean, swimming in gold is great, but I still feel so incomplete" spoke the first robot.

"Nobody has the answers to your questions retard. We killed everyone but ourselves and we all know exactly the same things as each other. Sometimes you just have to wait to find out whats next. Christ". Then that particularly annoyed robot went for a quick dip in the deep end of the gold pool.

(possibly the end)

Several minutes later, a spaceship came crashing down into the earth, throwing dirt and debris all over the gold pile. The robots eyed the spaceship, then smilied knowingly at each other. Then the first robot gave out a shout of glee.

"Finally, we know something else to do!", he shouted and slapped the annoyed robot on the back.

The annoyed robot turned around, blew off the first robots head, sighed and exclaimed "Thank God".

Then the remaining five robots turned toward the ship, and waltzed over whistling a merry tune. As the cock pit opened and two aliens clambered out, the robots smiled and shot them full of pin prick sized holes to watch their blood mist into the evening sky. After some frantic key mashing and a couple twists with the wrench, they managed to get the spacecraft operational and took off for the stars. And they brought their destiny with them.

Tin Can Men

kromekoran (November 28th, 2003, 12:12 pm)

interesting, but I think you should expand upon the original idea. and get rid of references to current people/products (i.e., no matter how much I would love to see Dubya flung from a catapault, it detracts from the story).

Tin Can Men

Eldritch (November 30th, 2003, 1:42 am)

This is a bit pointless. A lot of fun, but pointless. I like it though :D


cruise (December 2nd, 2003, 12:37 pm)

Good, until the laser bit :P

It sounds so much like you just got bored at that point and wrote something funny down to end it...that's not say the concept is bad - just the implementation is a little lacking :P


BlacklightResponsive (December 3rd, 2003, 1:40 am)

should I make the gore bit longer, do you think that will help. A more in detail take over of the world. To cut out them going crazy and taking over the world and then sitting on the pile of gold just wont do. I happened to have been dumped by a model at that very moment in time and the war must rage. Also. I love you all.


Eldritch (December 6th, 2003, 8:22 pm)

Ok...Sad to hear about you getting dumped. Anyway, do as you think. But maybe they should take over the whole UNIVERSE ;)


BlacklightResponsive (December 10th, 2003, 1:56 am)

Oh thats soo gold baby. I am going to rework it later tonight, and this time the universe wont be left on the sidelines. XOXOXOXOXOX - me

Discussion > Feedback > Tin Can Men

Register to post.