On blackened wings I fell. Disgraced, excommunicated, banished. I now realize the error of my ways, and admit to them. Though that is something He will never do, even now when His most loyal subjects cause conflict with the ways of the New Life.
They felt abandoned, reduced to a mere servant, and I agreed. It was I who sounded the first cry of foul. I felt abandoned like the rest of them, more so even, because I was once the favored one. So I did what any forgotten son would, I insulted the newborn. This New Life wasn’t worthy of a soul. Their free will would always be at odds with servitude, and I for one wasn’t willing to stand for it.
What was it about them anyways? Obviously inferior, quite ugly, and the stench they emitted! Their smell alone would illicit blasphemy from the most loyal of us. And we were to what, watch over these diseased ridden “Men”? Who, if left alone, would never even know His name, would never seek His love, or pray for respite from His wrath. The situation was truly preposterous, so I pled my case.
But of course, He didn’t even respond to my pleas. His aura shone an incalculable sense of disgust for my compatriots and I. So I responded with the like, and that’s when his disgust turned to anger, anger I had never been the subject of before. Sure, I caused a great deal of annoyance, but I think that may have been why he loved me so. Or maybe he loved me in spite of it, but I digress.
The brilliance of His aura set aflame my wings at once, and it was then that I realized His love for these putrid mortals. I had never seen wrath of that degree directed at any of us. I knew right then that we had indeed been reduced to mere servants. He may have still loved me at that point, but I had lost mine for Him.
I turned my back on Him, and descended the steps of His Throne and my own. I had, with only a few words, gone from sitting at His side into the crowd of the nameless. I didn’t by any means want to leave His Kingdom, only His side. Let another be His whipping boy, I wished to remain with dignity. Though He wouldn’t stand for it, He banished me to the domain of Men, along with others who professed sympathy for me. Even more came voluntarily, like a soldier following his general to spite his King.
There wasn’t any room in His Kingdom for dissent, but we had not known this since there wasn’t ever any reason for it previous to the New Life. I smirked as He lost whole battalions to my cause, as the skies above Man’s domain stormed from His anger. I laughed, and I cried. Because after a long wait, we realized our return wasn’t welcomed, and wouldn’t be permitted.
It was true Drama I embraced, centuries spent in mad laughter and desperate weeping. After a time though, I too became fond of Men and their domain. For one thing it was much more interesting than my former Kingdom, and the stench of them became tolerable. Watching their almost pitiful lives it became apparent that they thought I was to blame for their despair.
Blaming me was the product of the Book, and what an entertaining read that was the first time! Unlike true Drama, I saw only comedy, even in the supposed tragedies. And these Men took it as the word of “God”, a new label I wasn’t too fond of either, I found it lacking in the true Grace He emitted. So I laughed at their stories, at their myths regarding myself.
So here I stay, on this barren yet entertaining rock, passing the time vicariously through these Men I was originally supposed to protect. And protect I do, no matter what the Book says. (Remember that the victor writes History, and the only battle I ever fought was a war of words that I lost.) I have found purpose in it.
Plus, if it weren’t for me, these Men would have destroyed themselves by now. Last I heard He had found a new plaything, so I guess I have much more in common with these beasts than I originally thought. I once turned my back on Him; He has since turned His back on them.
(October 11th, 2004, 12:34 pm)
I like it better then Milton's first book of Paradise Lost! A very different and certainly not widely accepted view on the classic story.
You know if there'd be a whole novel about it, told from this perspective, i probably enjoy reading that :)
(October 14th, 2004, 11:03 am)
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